accomplished twins. life is a go
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
