im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize