I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
These tits shall not be calmed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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