we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize