His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
