the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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