I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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