I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
