I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
