Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
