That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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