a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
