i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
