all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
