our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
