last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
