I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
