Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize