i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
vagina is talking i cant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
