I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
