Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize