I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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