I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
