Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
