my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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