Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i've created a new STD.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
