Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
whose parrot is this?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
