I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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