Grow some girl-balls and come out already
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
