I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
