they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
