Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
