I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
