worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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