He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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