What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
