Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Her vagina smelled like chicken

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

why do you say that

(605): View more from South Dakota

chicken smells like everything

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just invented taco cereal.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.

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(239): View more from Florida

I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

(781): View more from Massachusetts

5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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(775): View more from Nevada

By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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(440): View more from Ohio

But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not

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