I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
