A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
