Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
