dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Are we still banned from the library?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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