Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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