wat bout pragnant strippers??
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize