Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
