I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
