Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
