Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
