4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i will never coherently bang her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
