Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
