Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
