just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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