how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
