Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
