my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Vodka?
Forever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
