You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
