Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
birth control should be required to get into college
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
