so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
