Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
