I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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