so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
