Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
