I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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