I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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