so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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