only if we run a train.
done.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize