Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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