she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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