There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
