Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize