I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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