oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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