what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
