No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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