FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
