I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
