That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
