i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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